Introducing... Tan Peng Yang

Name: Tan Peng Yang

(aka Piang Piang / Robert Tan / Chen Guan Sai / Megan Foo / Saiful Apek / Wal-ke-lan / +1 / Fiesty Midget / Ratata / Squirtle / Fehling... etc. )

Age: 17

Height: Non-existent.

Position: Doggie. Just joking. Right/left midfielder, wing forward.

Jersey Number: 7

This player has tremendous pace and has started almost every game for NSIMI. (Description from PES 2009.) A key player in the team, he rarely tires out and holds an important role in sneaking past defences, due to his ability to avoid being noticed (read: short). He is the highest scoring midfielder for Team NSIMI and has a couple of fine assists to his name too. He can also win many free-kicks for the team as he is easily being high-booted and is an invaluable asset to the team.

Off the pitch, Peng Yang is also a key figure in team bonding. Being vertically challenged and with his uniquely good (NOT!) looks, this fiesty midget often finds himself being the centre of attention as the common topic of conversation (read: guai lan). He is currently in a tremendous run of form off the pitch. If his footballing career is to fail somehow, or after retirement, he can consider being a stand-up comedian, though some may not be able to see him even if he stands up on a chair.

P.S. Some may not be able to recognise Peng Yang in the above photo. A more recognisable view would be that of a bird's eye view, but no such photo could be found in our photo archives. LOL.

Each A Cock

You know the school is screwed up when the principal starts a verbal war with the workers of the new bubble tea stall over students not throwing away their own rubbish. An altercation which got blown up into a full-scale scream fest beyond the decibel scale, which saw the police come down into the canteen to bring the Indian stall helper away. Probably won't see her in our school ever again.

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Crazy, totalitarian, power-abusing, racist, Communist principal
VS.
Stall tender with a serious attitude problem

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Hmm. I just can't pick a side.

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Anyways I feel that I have a responsibility to inform everyone in NSIMI that our Dear Leader has issued out a warning that "if anyone buys from this stall, I will sack you!", ensuing the fiasco that happened just now. Ignorance is no defence.

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So remember: Coming late for school three times (even though it may not be your fault) and buying drinks from a stall in the school canteen are serious offences which can constitute to your being "sacked", but truancy is way okay!

Only in JJ, Brus. Only in JJ.

I'm so proud.

Long live our Great Leader!
BANKI! BANKI! BANKI!!!

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No. 17

Introduction:Huang Zi Ting

Name:Huang Zi Ting

Age:18

Height:also taller than pengyang

Position:Centreback,rightback(no,you're not a striker)

Jersey Number:22

Great control.Thunderous shooting.Lightning speed.Penalty kick expert.Sadly,none of these can be used to describe Ziting.Due to his delusion,he often thinks of himself as a striker and ends up playing centreback.This player has the amazing ability to say something so lame that the person goes speechless.His infamous ''prawn prawn prawn(hei hei hei)''laughter and his wellknown odour has made him invaluable to the team.Despite his shortcomings,Ziting does have his strengths,such as having a strong odour,guailan-ing people and making fun of pengyang's face(who doesnt).Team NSIMI has run out of superlatives to describe this brilliant player.His left foot is almost useable and he jumps as high as pengyang(this is not an insult).ziting is also very religious,as seen from his celebration after sports day when he won 4x400m when he emulated kaka's ''i belong to god'' celebration.we hope ziting can continue to keep out crucial goals for team NSIMI by bringing rubber bands onto the pitch and irritating strikers with the rubber bands and odour.one word for this player:BEWARE.

due to his inexplicably horrifying face,we have been unable to upload ziting's photo.the browser showed:internet explorer was unable to display the page when the author tried to upload his photo.im not kidding lol

Introduction: Kwee YiYang

Name: Kwee Yi Yang

Age:18

Height:taller than pengyang

Position:Striker

Jersey Number:25

Blessed with a velvet touch and a sniper like outside foot,Yiyang is one of,if not the best player in the team.Yiyang has developed quite an understanding with Kelvin to score plenty of goals for Team NSIMI.Yiyang also has the uncanny ability to guailan people yet at the same time make make the person being guailan laugh.Also,his pool abilities are only second to the number seven in team NSIMI.Yiyang has often been compared to Dimitar Berbatov of Manchester United due to the ball sticking to his feet like glue,but the author thinks he's better.We hope Yiyang will cotinue to score goals for Team NSIMI and hopefully stop his BLUFF shinanigans.LOL

Introduction: Kelvin Ho a.k.a GSM

Name:Kelvin Horandius Ho

Age:18

Height:185cm(wtf)

Position: Striker

Jersey Number:9

The best striker in the team,Kelvin almost never fails to find the net in games for NSIMI.Other than two games,he has scored in every game for Team NSIMI.Blessed with a gigantic frame,speed and a small dick,he towers over most defenders and scares the shit out of them.Kelvin,being tall,likes to make fun of short people for their height and his trademark insults are ''cant see eye to eye'' and often makes fun of people's ugly faces,despite his less than average looking face.He also has a tendency to get injured during physical training and then miraculously heal when it comes to playing a match.Despite having a tendency to miss open goals,he has world class finishing abilities.One such moment came in a match against a previous opponent where the handsome number seven of team NSIMI floated a high ball over the defence for kelvin to finish with a thumping volley.we expect kelvin to continue scoring goals by the bucketload for team NSIMI.However,he should stop insulting people for their height and ugly face in order to avoid bad karma,which has resulted in missing two open goals.

p.s none of the medals or trophies in the pic above belong to him,he cant even run LOL

CHAMPIONS NSIMI!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 1st post by me! NSIMI all the way!

ziting!